The Baby is Dirty

A disheveled foreign woman walks into a Japanese nursery half an hour late with her screaming baby in tow. Actually, the baby is riding in a giant sized American bought SUV type stroller that’s wheels alone are about the same size as the average Japanese stroller. This stroller was bought by a naive pregnant woman who had no concept of what it would mean to carry such a stroller up 5 flights of stairs during Tokyo rush hour. This stroller was a big giant mistake. However, should the big one hit Tokyo, I’m convinced that this stroller will be the only thing left standing and that counts for something I suppose.

Anyway, back to the screaming baby. (All conversations have been translated into English)

Nursery teacher: Oh hello! We didn’t think you were coming.

Woman: Yes I’m sorry. The baby is dirty. I’m sorry. (Woman is trying to apologize for the baby’s dirty feet and knees which she had no time to clean but this is as far as she can manage in her crappy Japanese.

Nursery teacher: Oh! Why are you crying baby ?

Woman: He is not happy. I cleaned his face off with mosquito repellent tissues. It was an accident. I’m sorry. (Understandably, the woman had gotten mosquito repellent wipes confused with regular facial wipes, a mistake that anyone could make.)

Nursery teacher: (while casting a quick quizzical glance in the direction of the foreign woman). Oooh… that’s too bad. By the way, we noticed you hadn’t paid yet for last month…

Woman: Oh yes, the paper (referring to the fee statement)  you gave me was dropped while I was walking. I do not have it. The place that is was dropped, I do not know it. I’m sorry.

Nursery teacher: Oh, well I can give you another.

Woman: Yes thank you. I’m sorry

This could go on for quite a while longer so I’ll just cut it off here. You get the picture.