Invasion of the Body Suits

What in the name of Laura Ashley is going on in fashion these days? Since I’ve spent the past 18 months either pregnant or fearing imminent poverty, I’ve done very little shopping lately. The other day I ventured into a few stores though and I was more than a bit disconcerted by what I saw. Lots of flowy, flowery pastels, diaphanous layers, and… Good God- fringe! Is everyone in the world dressing like Stevie Nicks on Xanax or is it only in Barcelona?

Even more horrifying, I saw that there are BODY SUITS in both Zara and H&M. BODY SUITS!?

If both of these stores have them then it’s only a matter of time before every New Mexican lady real estate agent (as well as almost everyone else) will have snaps under their crotches. Has it already happened?? In the early nineties I owned one body suit which my little brother thought was the single best item of clothing in my closet. If he had had money at the time, he would have bought me one for each day of the week. He is now a Hollywood makeup artist who makes a lot of money and this makes me very nervous about my upcoming birthday.